Iron rusts from disuse, water loses its purity from stagnation . . . even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.”   ~Leonardo da Vinci

Intention is the first step, attention is the second step, and action is the third step to making a dream come true. But intention and attention are useless unless they are followed by ACTION. As Mary Morrissey says in her DreamBuilder Program, “Inspiration without acti

on is merely entertainment.” The first 2 steps are very important, but thoughts that stay inside and are not acted upon don’t have much to offer, other than amusement.

You’ve probably had the experience of coming up with a great idea and maybe even spent time figuring out how that idea could become a reality, but you if you never acted on the idea, it would gradually fade away.  You might feel disappointed, but maybe not disappointed enough to do anything about it.

It is said that a person can climb Mt. Everest one step at a time. The same is true of reaching for any goal or vision. So, how do you get started? Why, baby steps, of course! When babies are learning to walk, they just keep trying. Repetitive action will result ultimately in accomplishment and success. 

When we take actions repetitively, we create new habits. We create momentum. But to keep going, we need to adapt, too, and not give up if we get a result that is not to our liking. Jeffrey James wrote an article in Featured, Mindset, Productivity, in which he draws an analogy about the momentum feedback loop. 

When you’re driving on the freeway, you’re making progress. Suddenly, things slow down and you have to temporarily come to a stop.  Things crawl forward, you hit the gas a little bit, you move forward. You’re always moving a little bit. And obviously it’s preferred to move faster in most cases, but what would happen if you were to pull off to the side of the road and say “this is stupid, it’s not working… I’m done with this.” Would you ever get there? No, of course not. But if you stay on the freeway, and put up with the slow traffic, and inch forward bit by bit – you will eventually get to your destination.

 

And what happens sometimes is: you’re sitting in traffic, and then suddenly there’s a speedup for no reason. You don’t even see an accident or anything, but you get to surge forward. This happens in life as well. The more you keep pressing on, and chipping away at your goal, suddenly you’ll get huge bursts of progress. And of course you might hit another slowdown. But the point is: never stop. Never give up and pull to the side of the road and say “this isn’t working.” There’s nothing wrong with changing lanes, but you should always keep pressing forward.”

 

Many people don’t take action because they are afraid of the consequences. To get started in spite of that, simply take the first few tentative steps, make mistakes, listen to feedback, correct your mistakes, and keep moving forward towards the goal.

Whether you take action or not, time will keep on advancing, and time is limited!

Taking action is the one thing that separates winners from losers. Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, recommends following “The Rule of 5”. He explains that if we do five things every day to move ourselves closer to our goal, then we will succeed. Success is inevitable. Time is the only variable.

If you know anyone who can benefit from this information, please share it with them!

Subscribe to the Authentic Living E-Newsletter

People are not born with the power of attention. To gain this ability you need to devote time and effort to train it, just like any other ability.”

The Importance of the Power of Attention

By Remez Sasson

In part 1 of this Series, I wrote about the power of intention and that everything that happens in the Universe begins with intention (Intention, Attention & Action – Part 1). We plant the seed (the intention), nurture it (attention) and then harvest it (action). We are now ready for Part 2 – the power of attention.

In case you wondered, none of us were born with the ability to pay attention! In order to pay attention, you have to learn how to focus your mind. The mind left untrained “will shift constantly from one subject to another.” We may all know this, simply because we have learned that something negative is likely to happen if we DON’T pay attention. And we find out that the benefit of paying attention is its own reward.

Paying attention is actually a survival skill. It is crucial to protect us from anything that is dangerous or not important and help us make important decisions. Despite that, paying attention is a constant challenge for most people.

Thankfully, there are strategies and tricks (yes, and even medications) that can aid us in this endeavor. Here are a couple of suggestions:

1. Mindfulness

This strategy cultivates the brain’s ability to pay attention to specific cues. One of the tools of mindfulness is meditation, which can train us to stay calmer and more focused, even if we are experiencing negative thoughts.

Mindfulness can also help us develop greater personal awareness. For more information on mindfulness, please feel free to read a series of articles that I wrote on the subject, beginning with this one: https://authenticlifecoach.net/mindfulness-matters/

2. Daydreaming

I know it seems counter-intuitive, but daydreaming can actually help us to pay attention, because it gives us a chance to remember more effectively, solve problems, become more creative, and maintain greater mental health. Clearly, the amount of time spent daydreaming needs to be controlled, so we don’t use it just for escape, but the experience can refresh our minds and make them more effective.

Other Tips to Strengthen the Power of Attention

Remez Sasson (The Importance of the Power of Attention) says that we can turn every action into an exercise for developing the skill of paying attention. We just need to focus our minds on whatever we are doing and try to fix that attention without creating stress and tension. Sasson has a book titled Focus Your Attention, that provides 9 tips for strengthening your power of attention.

In the next and final part of this series, we will look at the importance of taking action, as the final step in acquiring what you want in life. Stay tuned!

Subscribe to Authentic Living E-Newsletter

These are the three ingredients for success in life and the means to achieve happiness!

INTENTION is the seed,

ATTENTION is how you nourish that seed,

ACTION is the harvesting of that seed.

Intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love. Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention.

Deepak Chopra, MD

If you have an intention, it means that you are ready to do something. You may not have everything planned out, but you know what the end goal is, and you have made a commitment to achieve that end goal.

Floundering would be the opposite of setting an attention.Someone going through life without setting intentions is like a sailor floating aimlessly at sea with no destination in mind. 

Sometimes we don’t have a clear intention, but we have an image of something we want. That’s the place to start. That’s the beginning.

How does someone set an intention? What’s the process?

Deepak Chopra, MD, describes the 5 steps to set an intention: 

1.  Slip into the Gap

The “gap” is described as the state of pure awareness, when we quiet the mind, temporarily halting the “noisy internal dialogue”. Meditation is one of the tools to achieve that quieting. 

2. Release Your Intentions and Desires

In order for your intentions and desires to take root, you need to release them by planting them. This is best done right after you have finished meditating. You plant the intentions and desires simply by not questioning them anymore. Repeat this step in the process every day for a few days.

3.  Remain Centered in a State of Restful Awareness

Rather than seeing the intention as something you lack or need, stay centered in the awareness that everything is all right, even though you may not yet know how or when the intention will manifest.

4.  Detach from the Outcome

You can believe in the power and wisdom of your intention without becoming attached to a specific result. Part of the intention is instilling the belief that everything will work out as it should. That detachment will allow the opportunities to come your way more easily.

5.  Let the Universe Handle the Details

By remaining focused on your intentions, you can trust that the outcome will be in your best interests. Our monkey minds tell us that we must stay “in charge” in order to get anything done. You have done the work to identify your intentions and plant them in fertile ground. Release your need to control when and how they will bloom.

To aid you in setting your intentions, listen to this meditation on a daily basis:

Please share this post with anyone who might appreciate it and subscribe to the Authentic Living E-Newsletter, if you haven’t done so already.

Namasté.

Subscribe to Authentic Living E-Newsletter

Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important. Capture the good times. And if things don’t work out, just take another shot.”

 

– Ziad K. Abdelnour

I am currently in the beginnings of writing a memoir. To establish a framework, I am taking an online course that goes through the basics of writing a memoir and offers some exercises for practice. I’m not sure what motivates me to write the memoir. Perhaps it’s to share my journey so that others might relate to what I’ve gone through. Maybe my resolution of some of life’s challenges will help someone else come to grips with their own.

I haven’t always believed that life is precious. Sometimes it has felt like a curse, and I wanted to give up. But I’ve learned over the years — now that I am able to look at my life from a distance — that the hard times are there, because there are lessons to be learned.

We know that life is precious when one minute a person is alive and the next minute they are dead. Their loved ones grieve their passing, realizing they took that person’s life for granted. At the same time, we recognize that we have been taking our own lives for granted.

Life is lived in the moment, yet the memories often help clarify the moment. There’s a theme running through my life, which is probably true for all of us, if we stop to notice that. My theme has something to do with self-worth. From the beginning I have been tentative, seeking approval, afraid of making mistakes and being ridiculed.

What about you?  Is there a theme or focus, a pattern of behavior perhaps that points to your purpose in life?  What are you meant to learn and overcome?

What if we could know how our lives turn out? Would that be comforting or would it create even more stress and overwhelm? My guess is that it would not be helpful to know the future. For me, the future — my life — has turned out much different from what I imagined as a teenager. If I had known what would actually happen, would I have tried to change some of it? In the long run, would that have been helpful or would it have hindered my development, my personal evolution? It’s a quandary, I admit.

If you’ve lived long enough, you know that no matter how bad life can be, “this too shall pass.”  We build strength through surviving and thriving despite the difficult times. To do that though, we have to have a certain amount of faith in something bigger than ourselves – be it the universe, the spirit of life, or whatever we want to call it.

Circling back to the notion that our lives are precious, consider the following reasons to be grateful for your life:

1. We can move forward in life through our experiences – good, bad, and ugly – by focusing on what we want and being persistent.

2. There is a reason for all the difficulties that we sometimes call failures, if we learn from them.

3. Pain causes us to gain strength and endurance through greater awareness.

4. We are lucky to be alive. Our lives represent a one-in-a-zillion chance of being born.

5. Being grateful for what we have allows us to move out of a state of fear and into a state of love and compassion, which rejuvenates and replenishes us.

6. Too many lives are cut short. If we are still breathing, we can count yourselves lucky and come to appreciate what we have in the here and now.

7. Our lives are unique. No one else can have the experiences we have. We are each on a journey that is full of discovery and adventure.

8. As long as we are alive, we can be more, do more, and have more. Once we breathe that last breath, the opportunities no longer exist. 

If you are reading this, it means that you are still here. You have the chance to make the most out of the rest of your life and be happy.

Our True Heritage

The cosmos is filled with precious gems.
I want to offer a handful of them to you this morning.
Each moment you are alive is a gem,
shining through and containing earth and sky,
water and clouds.

It needs you to breath gently
for the miracles to be displayed.
Suddenly you hear the birds singing,
the pines chanting,
see the flowers blooming,
the blue sky,
the white clouds,
the smile and the marvelous look
of your beloved.

You, the richest person on Earth,
who have been going around and begging for a living,
stop being the destitute child.
Come back and claim your heritage.
We should enjoy our happiness
and offer it to everyone
Cherish this very moment.
Let go of the stream of distress
and embrace life fully in your arms.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Stress is one of the leading causes of both mental and physical ailments. We know that, but what happens when we are in a stressful situation or just reacting to our chaotic world, is that we freeze. We become immobilized, as if we are in shock. It’s tough to turn that around in the moment, unless we have some tried and true methods to change our focus. That’s why planning for the stress that is inevitable is necessary to deal with it in the moment it arises.

Today I would like to share some techniques that may be helpful.

Simple Meditation 

1. Find a place to be alone, with as few distractions as possible, turning off your phone or leaving it in another location for the time being.
2. Release the tightness in your body — in particular the neck and shoulders – by stretching.
3. Sit in a comfortable position that will enhance your ability to relax without making you drowsy. Now close your eyes.
4. Begin to notice your breath, by focusing either on the actual breath coming in and out, or the movement in your chest and abdomen that occurs with breathing in and out. Slow down your exhalation as soon as you can comfortably, counting to three on the in-breath and counting to six on the out- breath.
5. You will begin noticing sounds around you — some fairly loud (like traffic) and some more subtle (like the air coming from a register). Choose to pay attention to the more subtle sounds, drowning out the louder ones, while still noticing the in-and-out sensations of your breath. Continue doing this for several minutes. 
6. Notice again any tightness in your body and focus on each spot one-by-one. As you do that for at least 3 breaths in and out, imagine sending love to that area of your body and picture it glowing with a golden light. If your mind wanders, don’t resist the thoughts. Just gently let the thoughts go and come back to the area that is tense.
7. Move from one area to the next until you feel the tension ease.
8. Stay in the bliss of that relaxation for a few minutes and consider making an affirmation (along or silently) that reinforces your ability to stay centered in the midst of chaos.
9. Repeat as necessary!

For a guided version of this meditation, click on this link:          A Simple Meditation

Tapping

Tapping is a method for reducing stress by first identifying the feelings you have about the situation you are in and then interrupting that strong emotion with positive affirmations. It’s somewhat involved in comparison with the simple meditation above, so I have included here a video documentary of the process, recently produced by Jon Gabriel and Carol Look.

The Gabriel Method

This video is only available for a free viewing for about a week, so be sure to tune in as soon as possible. 

Losing weight is a goal of this program, but they acknowledge that being overweight is often a symptom of an underlying trauma that is creating stress. 

Writing in a Journal

One of my favorite ways of reducing stress and coming to grips over something upsetting is to write about it — not to another person, but to a higher power within me.  Sometimes I even give that higher power a name! I keep the journal someplace safe, away from curious eyes, and will someday probably scan and download them to a disk that is password protected. In the meantime, I choose to have the actual  physical journal accessible to me.  I go back to them every now and then to get a perspective on where I was at that point in time, possibly to reinforce my efforts in the current moment. 

There are many other ways to deal with stress.  I would love to hear from you with any methods that you have found helpful. We’re all in this together!

Subscription to Authentic Living E-Newsletter

Fear is an insidious and deadly thing. It can warp judgment, freeze reflexes, breed mistakes. Worse, it’s contagious.”

James Stewart

With all that is going on in the world (COVID-19, threats of war, etc.), it’s very easy to get caught up in the feelings of fear that surround us. In fact, all emotions are contagious, because we are social people and cue off each other. When people are laughing, we often laugh. When people are depressed, we can get bummed out in response. When others are scared, it increases our concerns for whatever is going on.

We can even “smell” fear, according to an article published in the Journal of Psychological Science, which suggests that humans communicate via smell just like other animals.

Humans Smell Fear

A doctor in South Carolina, speaking about the current pandemic of the COVID-19 Coronavirus, recently stated that, “Fear is the most contagious part of the virus.”

According to Anna Rothschild ( https://www.livescience.com/24578-humans-smell-fear.html ), there is something called the alarm pheromone which is given off through bodily secretions (i.e. sweat and tears) by social animals (bees, ants) that quickly alert the whole colony of an impending danger and can trigger a collective response. 

We humans secrete something similar to the phermones called “chemosignals.” When they are secreted and other people smell them, they may get scared or stressed too. While we have long thought that we only communicate through our speech or body language, we now know that we also communicate through our body odor.

In an article in New York Magazine, Sigal Barsade, a researcher who has studied emotional contagion for more than two decades, suggests three simple ways to “cure” yourself from “catching feelings.” 

1. Create a distraction from the source of contagion 

2. Project your own positive emotion back if you are chatting with an anxious friend

3. Speak up if someone is spreading unwarranted “negative vibes”

We may need to consciously decide to turn off cable news or shut off our Twitter feed when it is upsetting us in order to create a distraction from the “breeders” of the fear. We are all well aware that negative thinking is unhealthy for both our minds and our bodies. We can give ourselves and others a boost in fighting off this new virus strain by following Barsade’s advice.

To your health and happiness!

Real change comes from within. It starts with one action that makes a difference. That difference encourages more action, and on and on.

Most of us feel very small and insignificant in this world, but if you know how very powerful one person can be (perhaps you can think of some examples), you are no different. You create your own ripples all the time in many ways. 

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world.

From “The Ripple Effect”, Madisyn Taylor, DailyOM

The truth is that one small change can have an enormous impact. Mother Teresa said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”  As we know, despite her modesty, Mother Teresa created positive change that became known the world around and encouraged others to do the same.

Someone like Mother Teresa is a  “changemaker”. It hasn’t been that long (20 years or so) that the term changemaker became part of our collective consciousness. Since then various groups around the world have taken up the challenge of cultivating more and more changemakers. One of those organizations is Ashoka. In an article titled, “What is a Changemaker”, written by Reem Rahman, Kris Herbst, and Tim Scheu, changemakers are:

. . . school children in Haiti creating new traffic safety systems,

American truckers preventing human trafficking, and Nobel

Peace Prize winners bringing banking to Bangladesh and fighting for child rights in India.”

You, too, are a changemaker, if only you knew! Changemakers come from all walks of life and have widely varying beliefs and attitudes. To learn more and find out how changemakers think about themselves and the world, check out the Ashoka website here:

https://www.ashoka.org/en-us/program/ashoka-changemakers

From these ideas and the visual expression of a ripple effect, we know that we need to be the change we want to see in the world. And that change begins with us. What are you sending out into the world? Be mindful, because you are, in fact, very powerful!

And now, for those who love to see the ripple effect in action, a video from Youtube. Enjoy!

Subscription to the Authentic Living E-Newsletter

 

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself.”

~Madison Taylor, “Experiences We Don’t Understand”, DailyOM

We can all think of experiences in life that don’t make sense. Maybe it’s been 30 years and you are still scratching your head about something! Trying to make sense of everything can literally drive you crazy. But for many of us, not knowing “why” is equally uncomfortable.

I’ve lived long enough now to see how I had to go through certain things to become the person I am today. . . blah, blah, blah. But I fight that notion as an easy answer to a multitude of hard questions, like “how did I get here?” or “why did I allow that to happen?” I’ve read all the books about “being here now”, flowing with whatever happens. Why is that so difficult to do?

I recently began writing about probably the worst time in my life. I’ve been telling myself that I want to share the experience to possibly help someone else who finds themselves in the same boat. But is that all it’s about? As I write more and more, I realize that I can’t just dissect out of my life that one period of time. Everything I experienced up until then had an impact on the choices I made.

Does the reader need to know how I got there to understand my frame of mind? I think so. And the idea that someone can pick up my book, read it, and become enlightened is pretty far fetched, I guess, yet I wish somehow someone would have found a way to warn me. But would I have listened? Probably not. I believe we are open to ideas when we are ready for them, and not until we are ready.

The big question for me remains. Who am I? Who am I in the context of the situation then? Who am I in the context of my life now? 

Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D., writes in an article in Psychology Today that how we “story” experiences in our life makes all the difference. When we describe our lives to ourselves and others, we create a story that we carry with us from that time. We can change that story, or at least change what role we want to play in it. If we are hanging on to negative feelings like guilt, shame, and anger, we tell our story from that point of view. Dr. Khoshaba says:

The problem is that not all personal stories are the same in terms of promoting our welfare, in helping us to meaningfully move from points A to B in our lives, and to do so in a way that allows us to endure, learn and grow. We may prefer understandings that limit our development from one stage of life to another. Our stories may emphasize blame and victimization that pin us to the past. 

There are two ways to bring about change, according to Dr. Khoshaba – “we can change our behavior or we can change our dialogue”. She states in the article that the second method is about changing the story. Read the full article at: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-hardy/201403/how-we-story-our-life-experience-matters

What we tell ourselves about our experiences – right or wrong, good or bad – influences our ability to use those experiences to best serve us. While it is difficult and not easy to do so, we need to explore deeply. We can only do that by abandoning the story we have been telling ourselves up until now and begin a new dialogue about the experience. 

A place to begin is to be honest about our feelings and discover what is most important to us now. We need to ask ourselves who we are going to be in the story, what do we really believe, and what do we value. After reading this article and others like it, I think I am in just the beginning stages of writing my book. It’s the discovery phase. The facts of what happened are less important than the story I tell myself about what happened and the role I’ve assigned myself in the story. Share with me, if you like, any insights you may have about these ideas and thoughts. 

And if you haven’t done so already, subscribe to the Authentic Living E-Newsletter with news and insights.

What if the advice you’ve been taking up until now WAS your own advice, but it isn’t working anymore? When do you switch to something else?

Here’s the dilemma:  Frequently, my advice to others and to myself has been to “never give up”. Pursue your dream, be persistent. Success is only a matter of time if you keep on going forward with the vision of what you want. Good advice?  Yes or no?

Presently, taking another piece of advice seems to make more sense to me. “Let go of whatever is no longer serving you.” What? That makes me crazy! I’m supposed to persevere, but I’m also supposed to let go. Those two ideas seem contradictory. Does that make you crazy, too?

Well, I went in search of an answer and here’s what I found. Cloris Kylie Stock published an article on this website:

Cloris came up with five signs that might help us know when it’s time to give up and try something else.

1. Your quest to solve a problem takes over all other aspects of your life.

2. You aren’t able to visualize a positive outcome.

3. You start to feel poorly about yourself.

4. You’re the only person who shows interest in solving the problem or reaching the goal, but the outcome also depends on other people.

5. When you wake up in the morning, your first thought is to give up.

If that resonates with you, think about letting go of what’s no longer working for you.

I talked myself into having an online coaching business, because I hoped that the end would justify the means. I would reach more people and I might find it easier to make money. But the end is nowhere in sight and the means have become intolerable.

I believed what other people with online life coaching businesses preached. Those people were “successful”! There was no reason to believe that it would be any different for me. But, in fact, I was never comfortable with the means to get there, so success at it may have been unlikely – if not impossible – from the beginning!

The truth is that I am successful one-on-one or with groups of people attending a presentation or a workshop. I feel like I can truly help people that way, but I wasn’t patient enough to continue only doing that. I needed an income to support myself.

I have learned a lot through the experience of developing an online business, so I guess I really don’t regret making the effort. Life is all about learning, right? That’s one reason we are here. 

I am resolved about not having an online coaching business. I am also resolved to not give up on my dream of helping people through coaching!

Subscription to Authentic Living E-Newsletter

I have been telling my readers to “give up whatever no longer serves you.” Recently, I realized that I needed to do just that myself.

It’s not always easy to take your own advice. You probably know that, right? Well, Ladies & Gentlemen, I am doing that (for a change).  I love this saying:

Life Lesson:  Read Your Own Blog & Take Your Own Advice. 

www.chasing-joy.com

I have been writing blogs (articles) ever since I was certified as a Transformational Life Coach in 2015. Why? Because I made it my mission to read and research and pass on the wisdom that came my way. I wanted to help others find greater happiness and live a life that is in alignment with their values. 

It’s a noble idea: help others by sharing what you have learned. I have a passion for it, and have been gratified whenever someone benefits from my advice. Unfortunately, I thought I could reach more people through creating a business online and reap the rewards of an income to support myself, as well. It hasn’t turned out that way.

I will probably never give up trying to help others, but it will not be through the internet! I fell for the hype, “Let me show you how I did it and I guarantee you will be successful. Everybody wants and needs a life coach. You just need to get yourself OUT THERE and do the marketing.” 

I finally admitted the truth to myself. Online marketing tactics (social media, webinars, videos, etc.) just don’t fit with who I am and how I want to interract with the world. I don’t want to chase leads and try to manipulate people into doing something they haven’t sought out for themselves.

So, I am resolved for now. It is my intention to no longer promote my “business” online and compete with the other sharks out there hungry for your blood. I still believe that life coaching is an immensely valuable way for people to transform their lives, but I just don’t want to use the online marketplace to attract those people.

What will I do instead? I will continue offering presentations and workshops, do more writing, and hopefully attract the right people through word-of-mouth. This work is still one of my passions, but I no longer consider it a means to the end of making enough money to support myself. I feel much better admitting all that to myself, despite all the time and money I’ve invested in trying to make the online business successful. I am taking my own advice. Thanks for reading this blog. I would love to get your feedback on my decision. It is said,

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

~ author unknown

Subscription to the Authentic Living E-Newsletter