“All too often our lives can be spread too thin and it becomes important to gather our thoughts and center ourselves to become whole again.”
~ Madisyn Taylor
Every adult I talk to is feeling overwhelmed right now. In part, that feeling comes from trying to pay attention to the past, the present and the unknown future all at the same time. The stress that comes from that can be harmful — both physically and mentally.
When we are in that frame of mind, we feel out of control. We don’t know which way to turn, so sometimes we just try to escape in some way (TV, alcohol, food, sleep, sex), but in the end, we must conquer this condition or we will be held hostage by it. Can you relate to any of these statements?
- I can’t handle this.
- I’ll never get it all done.
- I’ve let them all down.
- I can’t get it together.
- My life is spiraling out of control.
At the time, we feel helpless, trapped. We often resist our own attempts to calm down.
What can really help is to do some mind-body integration work. Angela Marchesani, a psychotherapist and Holistic Health Coach practicing in Wayne, Pennslyvania, suggests five steps we can take to achieve the mind-body connection:
1. Three-Count Breath
One way to help the body relax and restore its basic functioning is to steady your breath. Start in this way: Inhale for three counts. Hold for three counts. Exhale for three counts. After a few rounds of that, attempt to prolong the counts so that your breathing can slow and return to normal. This process can be helpful in less than a minute.
2. Stop Sign Visualization
Those negative, looping thoughts that are spiraling out of control in your mind? They don’t serve you. There’s no time to listen to them, anyway: You have very important things to do!
So, to move forward without letting your thoughts drag you down, try this: For each self-defeating thought that pops up (“I’ll never get it all done!” and so on), visualize a large, red stop sign in your mind and think, “Stop.”
Try to drop the rest of the thought. This takes practice, because those thoughts have a lot of “psychic inertia” and that’s why they need a “Stop Sign.” Use it liberally.
3. Mantra/Affirmation
Used alone or in conjunction with the Stop Sign Visualization, a simple mantra can be an effective tool.
Consider a few affirming phrases to repeat during these moments. It should be something that rings true to you and can reassure you. For example, “I can manage,” “This will pass,” “There is no emergency,” or “It will all get done.” Experiment with the right mantra for yourself, and repeat it often.
4. “5-5-5”
This technique is often recommended for people in dissociative episodes, but is useful and applicable during times of everyday stress as well. The purpose is to generate an awareness of your sensory experience so that you can feel more grounded in your body.
It’s very simple. Name the things you are experiencing for each of the senses: Identify five things you can see, five things you can feel, five things you can hear, and five things you can smell. For taste, a sip of cold water is often enough to bring awareness to the body.
5. Core Rooting
Take a moment to stand with your feet a little wider than hip-width apart. Visualize your body as a tree, with your torso representing the trunk and your feet representing the roots. Focus your attention on your core and scan down your legs until you reach your feet.
Notice the ground beneath your feet. Feel the strength of your body. You are not “scattered” anymore; you are right here.
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Experiment with these 5 steps and decide how well they work for you. One or two may be the most beneficial, so begin by practicing those and see what happens. Once you can regain a sense of control, things become easier. You can let go of the stress and begin again, taking one step or task at a time with your mind on the present moment.
Let me know how these strategies work for you by leaving a comment or question below.
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
~Hermann Hess
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