All Aretha Franklin wanted from her man was a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. But what did she mean by that?
Respect is not that easy to define out of context. We can easily give examples of when respect is absent, but it’s not nearly so easy to define in our daily interactions with people. The definition from the Merrium-Webster dictionary is “high or special regard: ESTEEM”.
According to the Council on Quality and Leadership (CQL), we learn the basic requirements of “paying respect”, like sharing with others, saying “please” and “thank you” and “you’re welcome”, but beyond that:
Respect is individually defined for each person through personal experience. Our personal definitions of respect are influenced by our personality, emotions, preferences, and cultural context.”
RESPECT: What does it really mean?
Life teaches us a lot about respect as we encounter more and more situations and people. We learn to be cautious in our expectations based only on our perspective. In order for “mutual respect” to be possible, we must not judge other people according to our standards alone. We must try to understand another person’s perspective. The best tool for that is dialogue.
Because humans are prone to making mistakes, respect is something we have to practice regularly, perhaps giving ourselves or someone else the “benefit of the doubt.” CQL offers us three beliefs that, if we can commit to them, will help us give the respect to everyone that they deserve:
- Everything we do, say, and provide to others makes a statement about our regard for them.
- Respectful interactions do not draw undue or negative attentions to a person’s difference or disability.
- Demonstrating concern and support for individual difference sets the stage for communicating our respect for them.
Can you commit to those beliefs? Are there other beliefs that are necessary?
We have been exploring the pillars of creating good relationships. Respect is one of those pillars. What are the supports for those pillars? Honesty is one characteristic or quality that I believe supports our ability to respect someone and for them to respect us.But there are several others, according to an article on entrepreneur.com:
- Be polite
- Act respectfully
- Listen well
- Be helpful
- Don’t make excuses
- Let go of anger
- Be willing to change
The 7 Qualities of People Who Are Highly Respected
I talked about TRUST as another pillar of a good relationship. I think trust and respect go hand-in-hand. I guess it’s possible to respect someone even if you don’t trust them, but the intimacy that can be achieved in the relationship may be severely limited. Trusting someone that you do not respect, on the other hand, seems next to impossible in my opinion.
Friendship – my definition – is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble. ~ Steig Larsson
What are your thoughts? Share below or send an email to me at pamela@authenticlifecoach.net.
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