The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all.
Welcome back to the series on relationships! If you are just “tuning in”, this is actually the 3rd article on the subject. Here are the links to the first two:
RELATIONSHIPS MATTER – Introduction to the Series
Loving Without Conditions – Part 1 in the Series, RELATIONSHIPS MATTER
In Part 1, “Loving Without Conditions”, I wrote that in order to love another person unconditionally, you must first love yourself unconditionally. So, let’s spend some time looking at this concept before launching off into something else.
Why is loving yourself so important? Isn’t it enough to have other people love you? In order to have a feeling of self-worth, you must love yourself. There is no substitute for that. How will you be able to believe that someone else loves you unless you love yourself?
So, what’s it like to love yourself? Here are three thought on that:
- You have more self-confidence and are happier.
- You no longer need to compare yourself to others and are less likely to care about what others think of you.
- You are more likely to attract people who love you when you love yourself.
In The Law of Attraction Love Tool Kit (http://www.thelawofattraction.com/love-yourself/), you will find 15 self-love tips to “discover how to love yourself and own your confidence.” The most important ones, in my opinion are the following:
- Forgive yourself for your mistakes
- Learn how to love yourself by saying “no” to others
- Give yourself a break
- Work on your self-trust
- Take care of yourself
Naturally, you are your own strongest critic, so self-love is not easy! Take it a day at a time and treat yourself the way you would treat another person in your life that you love and respect. Acknowledge right here and now that you are absolutely the most important person in the world.
Your entire life is lived through your eyes. Your interactions with the world and those around you, your thoughts and how you interpret events, relationships, actions, and words.
You might just be another person when it comes to the grand scheme of things, but when it comes to your understanding of reality, you are the only thing that matters.
~Lachlan Brown
HackSpirit.com
Trust and respect are the cornerstones of love, and that applies to self-love, too. Give yourself a break, as noted above, but don’t let yourself get off the hook either. You can’t trust and respect yourself if you are not being honest with yourself.
One tool that can be helpful is to regularly write in a journal. Write as if you are writing to yourself. Maybe give yourself a nickname. When I first started keeping a journal, I began with “Dear Sam” (rhymes with my real name). I was able to then create some separation that allowed me to get clearer on what was going on and make a plan to change anything that wasn’t working.
Lachlan Brown (quoted above) suggests some writing prompts to get you started on journaling:
1) What are the three personality traits you love most about yourself?
2) If your body had the ability to talk, what would it say?
3) What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Why is it happiest when I’m ___
6) Between great, good, fine and bad my mental health is ___. I believe this is because ____ .
7) Between great, good, fine and bad my physical health is ___ . I believe this is because ___ .
8) Who are you loved by most? Describe them and what you love about them.
9) Make a list of 20 things that make you happy.
10) What are 10 things you can start doing to take better care of yourself?
11) What are the common negative things you say to yourself? What can you say instead?
12) What qualities make you unique?
13) List the favorite parts of your appearance.
14) Where do you feel most safe and loved?
15) If you could back in time to when you were 15, what would you tell yourself?
You may have made the mistake, as I have, of focusing on others so much that you have “lost” yourself. If you take some time and make an effort now to become your own best friend, the rest of your life will be better. You may find out who you really are, what you are passionate about, and even what your purpose is.
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