Sometimes problems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it is always worth it to do the work.
~ Madisyn Taylor, DailyOM
For me and for many people, open and honest communication is difficult, if not impossible. However, if we can find a strategy to make it more comfortable for ourselves and our loved ones, it can deepen and improve our relationships.
Why do we avoid being open and honest in our communication with others? Generally, it’s fear driven.
- We are afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings.
- We are afraid that we will not be understood.
- We are afraid that the other person won’t respond by offering their open and honest communication in return.
- We are afraid we will be rejected.
And there are other fears I haven’t listed here. What have you experienced?
In my early twenties, I simply refused to talk to a long-term friend who was trying to figure out what she had done wrong. I was visiting her at her home in California and was mortified to learn that she smoked marijuana all day long, every day. I felt a mixture of disappointment and concern for her, but I couldn’t find the courage to tell her my feelings, for some of the reasons mentioned above. Before long we broke off all communication, which I regret. Perhaps it was time to go our separate ways, but I never had closure with her — a sad ending to a 12-year relationship.
Communicating openly and honestly requires a willingness to be transparent. That can be scary!
In Part 3 in this series on relationships, I wrote about trust (https://authenticlifecoach.net/the-importance-of-trust-relationships-matter-part-3-in-the-series/. in Part 4, we explored respect https://authenticlifecoach.net/respect-is-essential-relationships-matter-part-4-in-the-series/. The third ingredient to having a successful relationship is open and honest communication – transparency.
Transparency literally means “being easily seen through”. In the sphere of communication, transparency is about taking actions that are easily seen. Some reasons why transparency is valuable in communicating:
- We like knowing what’s going on.
- We want honesty and respect.
- We want people to admit when they’ve made mistakes.
- We welcome the opportunity to provide feedback.
And this goes both ways. ALL communication has two sides: the sender and the receiver. Like anything else in life, change takes time and practice. The first step is to set an intention. Something like, “I am a good communicator, making sure that I am honest and clear, will admit my mistakes, and will foster trust and respect between myself and others.”
The following video features Thomas Huebl speaking about transparency in communication. Enjoy!
Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there’s no reason to continue.”
~ ME.ME Market
Please share your thoughts on this topic.
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