Whether we do it consciously or unconsciously, we all make judgments of ourselves and others. But, if we do so often, it can become a habit, and there are ways in which we can all benefit by being less judgmental.
Judgments are instilled in us practically from the day we are born. It is part of our programming. We learn that some things are bad and some things are good. We learn that some things are right and some things are wrong. We begin to immediately evaluate others and label them, often without even realizing that we are doing it. So, what are some benefits of curbing our judgments? According to “Operation-Meditation”:
1. It opens us up to new experiences
If in the past we have decided that certain experiences are not okay, we may easily judge them to be bad without really even thinking about it. We close ourselves off from new experiences that we may actually appreciate and enjoy.
2. We will have higher quality friendships
If we have a friend who is constantly judging others in a negative way, we likely wonder what they are saying about us “behind our backs”. When we are afraid of judgment from another, we are less likely to share truths about ourselves, because it makes us more vulnerable.
3. We can achieve greater spirituality
Being non-judgmental opens us up to greater acceptance and love, which enhances our relationships with all people and with the world in general.
4. We can be happier
Being judgmental is usually negative and will make our outlook on life more negative.
There was a woman working as a checker at the local supermarket. One day she was extremely rude to me and embarrassed me in front of the other customers. At first, I was very judgmental. “What a rude person! She should be fired from her job.” Later when the young man helped me to my car with my groceries, I complained to him about the woman’s rudeness. His response was to tell me that her son had been riding his bicycle the day before and got hit by a car. He was in the hospital recovering and his mother – the “rude” checker – could not be with him, because she was a single parent and couldn’t miss work. Well, I felt stupid!
Have you had an e
xperience like that when you pre-judged someone, not knowing the full story? We learn from those experiences, but we quickly forget unless we intentionally DECIDE to “press the pause button” at those times and ask ourselves if there could be something we don’t know about the other person, which would change the way we feel about their behavior if we just knew the circumstances.
That’s what a mindfulness practice can help us do. We can decide to become more neutral in our responses to our environment. We can decide to replace judgment with curiosity and simply be a witness to what’s going on around us rather than a major participant. Being judgmental – conscious or unconscious – keeps us stuck in a reactive way of experiencing life. Please share this article on your social media sites!