Many of us find it easier to give than receive. It has a lot to do with our sense of deserving (or lack thereof).
Giving and receiving are part of the same cycle, and we each give and receive in our own ways. But we can lose our balance when we try to be too controlling on either side of the cycle.
Madisyn Taylor, “The DailyOM”
It’s kind of like having a bank account that you watch carefully every day, cognizant of the value of what is going in and going out. Keeping score in a way. At this time of year especially, with Hanukkah and Christmas and various other holidays, there is an expectation. One of my family members recently said in answer to my question about what they would like for Christmas, “Don’t get me anything! I’m not getting you anything, I’ll tell you right now!” I felt hurt in a way. It’s not that I really need anything, but I love to give, and this person had robbed me of that opportunity. Perhaps it was the vehemence with which the response was made, along with a facial expression that said, “Don’t you dare defy me on this!”
This conversation and my reaction to it gave me pause to try to understand what was going on. Was my desire to give somehow evidence of being controlling, just as much as the other person’s refusal to give and receive?
I think we all have different reactions depending on the person and the circumstances, but we do tend to try to place a set value on what we give and what we receive, and we attempt to keep it in balance. It rests, I believe, in the sense of obligation. The energy shifts from the higher vibration of sharing to a lower vibration of having a duty. It’s no wonder that some people give anonymously! Then the receiver feels no obligation to return the favor.
If we take a broader perspective, there is a Universal Law of Circulation, but it doesn’t say that we will give and receive necessarily from the same source. In fact, it says that “what you give to one person, you will receive from a different source.” You don’t give with the expectation of receiving back from the same person. You give knowing that it will definitely come back to you, possibly multiplied, from other sources.The Law of Circulation works with the Law of Cause and Effect, so we needn’t worry about reciprocation. We can receive without feeling an obligation to give. We can give without an expectation of receiving from the same source.
It’s actually freeing to approach giving and receiving this way. If I could, I would still give something to this family member, but I don’t want to upset them. I guess the change that I want in the World has to start with me, so do I dare?
I’d love your insights on this conundrum!. Please post your comments below.
When we can allow ourselves to receive as well as give, we do our part to keep the channels of abundance open for ourselves and others.
Madisyn Taylor, “The DailyOM”